There is a man who has been a smoker for nearly 10 years. He has smoked at least a pack of cigarettes a day since graduating from college. When he encounters difficulties at work, he starts drinking to drown his sorrows. He often ate barbecue and Coca-Cola late at night, eating a lot of fat in his stomach. Apart from walking to and from getting off work, he never did any exercise.
Suddenly one day, he was smoking in the hut. Unexpectedly, when he stood up, his head was spinning, and he almost fell to the ground. After being stimulated by this, he began to take care of his body. First, he forced himself to quit smoking. Then he adjusted his daily routine, stopped eating late at night, stopped drinking, and even started exercising.
He quit smoking and drinking for the sake of his health. His behavior of self-control and self-discipline is called delayed gratification in psychology.
What is delayed gratification
According to the concept proposed by Walter, a psychology professor at Stanford University, delayed gratification refers to the behavior of voluntarily delaying or giving up smaller gratifications for the sake of long-term and grand interests.
Professor Walter did a famous “marshmallow experiment”. He took the researchers to a kindergarten, randomly selected dozens of children around 4 years old, and asked them to stay in a small room with only tables and chairs. On each table were trays containing the children’s favorite marshmallows.
The researchers gave each child a marshmallow and told them before leaving the room that they could eat the marshmallow right away or wait until I returned in 20 minutes. If the marshmallow is still there at that time, you can get another marshmallow.
Some children were so impatient that they ate the candy right away. Some children were patient and closed their eyes or lay on the table to sleep, or diverted their attention by talking to themselves and singing, and finally succeeded in restraining their desires and obtained another marshmallow.
The researchers conducted a follow-up survey and found that those children who had stronger self-control and received two marshmallows showed stronger self-confidence, adaptive system, and independent spirit when they entered middle school, while those who could not withstand temptation showed stronger self-confidence, adaptive system, and independent spirit. It is easier to succumb to pressure and avoid difficulties.
After a longer investigation, they found that more determined children were also more likely to succeed in their careers.
From this, Walter concluded that the stronger the ability to delay gratification, the stronger the individual’s self-control ability and willpower, and the easier it is to succeed in study and work.
The power of delayed gratification
In the movie “The Shawshank Redemption”, the protagonist Andy Mengyuan was imprisoned for betrayal and was sentenced to life imprisonment. In the plot, Andy is wrongly accused and sentenced to life in prison at Shawshank Prison. Faced with the cruel prison life and the innocent plight, Andy chose to deal with the delayed gratification.
First of all, Andy showed a high degree of self-discipline and patience in prison. Instead of rushing to escape from prison, he developed his professional skills such as accounting and finance by actively learning and improving his knowledge. He used his expertise to provide financial advice to prison officials and gradually gained trust and privileges.
Second, Andy plans a long-term escape. He does not act hastily, but patiently plans and bides his time. He dug a tunnel in secret, digging only a small section each day to avoid arousing suspicion. He breaks his escape plan into multiple stages, each step carefully thought out and carefully prepared.
In the end, Andy finally achieved his goal through years of persistence and unremitting efforts. In the film’s climax, he successfully escapes from prison and reveals the truth that he was wrongfully accused. This process demonstrates his commitment and tolerance for delayed gratification, as well as his pursuit of future freedom and justice.
Andy Dufresne’s story shows us the power of delayed gratification. He was not defeated by difficulties, but through self-discipline, patience, and long-term planning, he finally gained his freedom and happiness. This character’s persistence and wisdom bring enlightenment and encouragement to people about delayed gratification.
Delayed gratification plays an important role in personal development and success. It can develop our self-discipline, perseverance, and long-term planning skills. By curbing impulsive spending and regulating one’s desires, a person can better manage his or her time, resources, and money and make smarter choices for future goals and needs.
How to achieve delayed gratification?
Delayed gratification allows us to persist through the twists and turns of the road and not fall in the dark. Even if the actual operation is extremely painful, you must persevere and wait until the spring comes. To better get through the slightly painful stage of hard work, we can use some small methods appropriately:
First, take it step by step, jogging in small steps.
- Take reading as an example. If you want to develop a reading habit, start with 10 minutes a day. Once you get used to it, adjust to 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and so on.
Second, it increases the cost of timely satisfaction.
- The best way to resist temptation is to stay away from it.
- If you want to go to bed early, put your mobile phone, tablet, and other electronic devices in the living room.
- If you want to lose weight, clear out the snacks at home and uninstall food delivery apps.
- If you want to concentrate on studying, lock all the figurines, toys, and other sources of temptation in the cabinet.
- This will make it easier to control yourself when you find that you cannot easily obtain satisfaction.
Third, cultivate the ability of self-control.
- This can be achieved by exercising willpower, planning and executing daily tasks, following time management, etc.
- When you wake up in the morning, you may feel sleepy and reluctant to leave your warm bed.
- You can enjoy good health and increased energy by sticking to your exercise plan, and internally motivate yourself to get up early and exercise.
Fourth, establish a reward system.
- Setting small rewards for your progress and achievements in delayed gratification can increase motivation and reinforce positive behavior patterns.
- For example, after completing an important task, allow yourself to enjoy an episode of your favorite TV series or a delicious dinner.
- Such rewards can motivate you to persist in your determination to delay gratification.
Conclusion
People with the ability to delay gratification dare to enter the narrow door, are willing to take the long road, and will aim at long-term profit goals. Know how to make every step visible, and be able to calm down and do things of long-term value. They are willing to give up immediate gratification and know how to work hard and wait on the way to achieve their goals.
I believe that in the end, they will be able to achieve their goals and become the people they want to be. I hope you can also become a person who can delay gratification.